Bliss(:

In 150 days, I'll be married. 

WHAT??

Yep.

This is the love of my life, Gary Alan Rickert Jr. He and I met about 3(ish) years ago, and my life has changed IMMENSELY since then. No, really. 

When we met, I was in probably the lowest place in my life that I have ever been. I hadn't been to church in over a year, I was questioning everything I had ever known, and I hated myself. 

When I look back on it now, I know for a fact that God put Gary in my life at that exact moment on purpose. He was exactly what I needed. I had gone through some things at that point in my life that were really crappy. And I was really depressed. Then along comes this guy...out of nowhere..that completely turns everything around.

He treated me like a princess. He was an avid church goer, but he wasn't your typical "churchy guy" type. 

SURELY I'm dreaming. It's too good to be true.

The more I got to know him, the more I fell for him. Hard. I felt like I'd known him my entire life. I could be myself around him, wholly and completely, without a second thought, and he loved me for it. One of the things I used to say to people when they asked me about him is that "I could talk to him forever and not get bored." And that's saying a lot... (;

I started going to church with him. I not only reignited my faded relationship with Christ, I also found a new church family that was full of love and a hope for the future, and we're going to be married in that church on the first of September.

One of the first pictures we took together...such dorks.. (:

He asked me to marry him at one of my favorite places in the world, The Texas Renaissance Festival. I couldn't fathom anything more perfect. 

Throughout these past few years, he's become my best friend. He makes me laugh like no one else can. He's my other half. 

When I look ahead to the years we'll spend together, I can't help but smile.

So this is what is making my life livable, not just today, but every day. Knowing that he's there no matter what happens, to keep me grounded.

The idea of having "Mrs." before my name is a strange concept to think about, but changing my last name to his just seems natural. 

Dexter

Today I lost one of my best friends. 

We got Dexter when he was a puppy. It was 2007. We had just bought a house after Hurricane Rita, and we were all making a new start. 

I remember the night we brought him home, he was so tiny. We bought him the smallest collar we could, and we still had to punch extra holes in it so it would fit him. He couldn't make it up or down the stairs of the house, they were too big. 

He was always a very playful dog. Tennis balls were his favorite. There were a few points that there were so many in the yard that it looked like an Easter egg hunt. He'd sit and wait anxiously for the ball to be thrown and he'd run full force after it, sliding in the leaves.

He was so loving. We had apprehensions about that since he obviously had Rottweiler in him; but you would never meet a dog with a sweeter disposition. When I'd go to the gate to the back yard, he'd put his front paws up on it so I could pet him, and as I would he'd put his paws around my arm, like he was giving me a hug.

When I'd go into the yard and sit on the ground, he'd always sit in my lap. He thought he was still tiny, so when he got too big for all of him to fit, he'd get so frustrated trying to keep all of his legs in my lap.

Dexter was the sweetest dog I've ever known, and today he's gone to play with all the tennis balls up in heaven. 

I can't begin to explain how hard it is to look in the yard and not see him there..to drive up and not see him waiting at the gate with his tail wagging, or walking around chasing a ball or digging holes.

So today, what made my day better wasn't just today. It's the difference that Dexter has made in my life for the past 5 years. It feels like there's a hole in my heart because he's gone, but I know once the pain has subsided, that hole will be filled with the love I had for him. Each day, it'll get a little easier. I just have to keep telling myself that. 

I don't know why God chose to take him so soon. He was still a baby. But I like to think it's because there was someone up in Heaven that God needed Dexter to love. And whoever it may be is very lucky to have such a sweetheart.

To anyone that has a pet, love them. Cherish them with everything you have. God gave us pets for a reason, and anyone that's had the opportunity to be loved on by one understands exactly what that is. 

I'll miss you Dexter. I love you so much.

The Best Friends That Anyone Could Ask For.

This weekend, I got a lot accomplished. 

On Saturday we went and ordered bridesmaids dresses, and got to pick up my dress too(: Then on Sunday we took engagement pictures. 

I say all this because: none of it would be possible without my friends. 

I've always been a very social person. Partly because I just really like to talk a lot. Haha. But also because I feel like I'm more whole with people I love surrounding me. This weekend, as I was at the dress shop and then eating out afterward, it really hit me just how lucky I am. Here I am sitting at a table full of people who have taken time out of their day to be a part of my wedding. That's a big deal.

Basically, I have the best friends in the world. There's never been a time that I've felt completely alone, because I know that there's always someone that I can reach out to. It doesn't matter what I've got going on, they're there.

This isn't really a new discovery, really, more of a new way  to look at it. The bettering of myself this time wasn't done by me, it was done by the people that love me, for whatever crazy reason that may be.  (:

Smell Goods, Arguing Dogs, and Fresh Air.

So, to better my day today, I washed clothes. 

..you washed clothes?..

Yep. Along with a few other things. See, washing clothes is one of those things that I dread. Its a pain, but it has to be done. So today, I did it. I washed a bunch too. And while I'm doing my laundry, I start to think how it's bettering my day. Because I'm taking the time to do this now, it's not put off until later. Which frees up my later to do whatever my little heart desires.

Score.

Then, as I'm in the process of doing it, my rat terrier, Gizmo, runs out of the house, and eventually makes it into the back yard with our Rottsomethingorothermix, Dexter. Now, Dexter is a big giant teddy bear that loves everyone. Including Gizmo. Gizmo thinks that he's twice Dexter's size, and he's got an attitude problem. So whenever the two of them are together, Dex wants to play around, and Gizmo will have none of it. Which normally ends up with Gizmo's ears back and growling..while Dexter is wagging his tail in delight. 

There is a point, I promise.

Normally, when Gizmo gets out of the house, I get angry at him, he knows he doesn't go out unless he's on his leash. But today, watching the interaction with them, I couldn't help but laugh. I stood there for probably 10 minutes watching Dexter aggravate Gizmo to no end, and it was hilarious. I'm really going to have to video it sometime. Anyway, instead of getting mad at Gizmo and yelling at him, I stood there and watched..and laughed. 

This was a discovery. It didn't hurt a thing for me to take the time to appreciate their little interaction. It felt amazing outside, and I wasn't doing anything of importance, so that little bit of time completely changed the attitude I had 10 minutes before. 

It's okay to STOP and take time to enjoy the small things.

As a bonus, I opened a new air freshener in my room, it's "Fresh Linen" from Bath and Body Works, and its one of those that just gives you a good feeling inside when you smell it. 

So, the small things bettered my day today. And what could have been a boring day of laundry and in-obedient dogs, turned out to be pretty wonderful. Just goes to show how much of a difference perspective can make.

With a smile on my face,

Sara

Bettering Myself.

Well, here goes.

I used to journal a lot. Well, it was really more of which dreamy guy I was falling for that week, but nonetheless, I did it. I look back on those now, and I've found that I can instantly be catapulted back into the exact same state of mind I was in when I wrote whatever I'm reading. This discovery led to a chain of ideas, which led me to this: write a blog.

...So I'm going to be one of ..those people?

Yes and no.

See, lately I've been on a kick of bettering myself. Partially brought on by the ferocious mediocrity of daily life..day in and day out the same old thing...and a need for something new; but mainly brought on by the fact that in just a little over 6 months, I'm getting married, and of course, everyone wants to look like a knockout on their wedding day.

So, I started with the typical trip to the gym once or twice a week and telling myself I was going to start eating better..etc etc etc. That all works great for about the first week. Then comes the "oh..I'll just have pizza tonight, then tomorrow I'll get back to eating healthy. Tomorrow I'll go to the gym...tomorrow I'll...." Am I right? 

Personally, this slump of tomorrows not only never ends, but it also puts me in a terrible mood. I'm upset with myself, and I'm also not looking forward to actually putting forth effort to actually make that "tomorrow" happen. It's all a vicious cycle, really. 

So I decided to change my thinking. 

In 6(ish) months, I'm going to be starting a whole new life, in a sense. So in order to prepare for it, why not just make the decision to not only better myself physically, but also to better myself emotionally, spiritually, metaphorically, actually, metaphysically...

You get the picture.

To do that, I can't look at the big picture. Its entirely too overwhelming. I have to take each day, one at a time, minute by minute. If I can do that, then before I know it things will change without me realizing it. 

That's what this is going to be for me. A place where I can record all the little things that I've found that help to better myself in any way, shape, or form. And no, this isn't a pity party in the least. I'm not fishing for "You're just fine the way you are!" 's. This is my way of really making each day better than the one before. Who wouldn't want that??

My goal for this is to look back at myself in a year, and to ultimately be a "better" person. Better as in happier, healthier, stronger, more corageous, more comfortable and all around more satisfied human being.

I won't write something every day. Maybe one day I'll get there, but as for right now, I'm not going to set that kind of goal for myself, because just like the slump of tomorrows, it'll never happen.  Whenever I do though, I'm going to share with you all my findings, and maybe they'll help you too. That would be pretty cool, for me. To help someone else too. 

Anyway, that's what this is. And I'm going to have fun with it. I'm excited just thinking about what I can (and AM going to) do.

So enjoy, and stuff. (:

Carpe-ing the Diem.

Sara